hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
