Sponge bath it is.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
