forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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