Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
