yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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