Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
