And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
And then my night got REAL pukey
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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