In the future we'll all be gay
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
