question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
