Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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