He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
