My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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