I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
