I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize