hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize