i was born a porn star she said
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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