i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
