It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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