States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I have aggressive nipples.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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