doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize