i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
