I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize