it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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