It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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