nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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