What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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