My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Randomize
