Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
