I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
