I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
