"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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