And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
