thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I deserve this hangover.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
