Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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