well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
