you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
