I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
