im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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