MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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