she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
