eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
