He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
