Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
