hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
