youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
There's always time for handjobs
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
