we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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