he puts the penis in happiness.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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