This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
