after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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