All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
