I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
