It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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