im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
