whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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