home. puking in laundry basket.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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