i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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