i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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