I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
