? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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