Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
