Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize