Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
They are going to name an STD after you.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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