I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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