the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
