Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
