I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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