how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
