the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
