margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
im about as happy as oj after his trial
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
